Saturday, May 8, 2010


Here's something you probably didn't know about me: I'm not very good at making friends; girlfriends, in particular. Here's why...
I had this friend. She was new at school, and I was the one who welcomed her to my lunch table and hung out with her after school. I even marched down to the student guidance office and changed my class schedule, just to have more classes with her. Before I knew it, she was my best friend in the entire world. We practically lived at each other's houses, we went to every football game together, I listened to her complain about her boyfriend and she even celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family. The only thing was, I was so caught up in being her friend that I never made any more. It was all her, all the time, like I was living in a bubble that blinded me from the rest of the world. I was in friendship-dreamland, and one day last March, I received a rude awakening.
She had been ignoring me, hanging out with other friends, pretending I wasn't even there. I was getting annoyed, but I stuck around, because I had no where else to go. Then she texted me, and this is where it all began: she told me to leave her alone, that she had other, cooler friends to be with, that I was annoying she needed time away from me. I told her I was hurt, and that true friends don't need to "take a break" from each other. She begged to differ. We fought for about a week, and just like that, our friendship was over. Done. She had her "cool" friends, but I had no one. I sat alone at lunch, walked the halls with out looking anyone in the eye. It was a living hell, not having any friends.
I guess that's the reason why it's since been to hard to make friends. I'm afraid to trust anyone that much anymore... afraid that they'll let me down, ditch me, and leave me, alone, again.
So now, about year later, I've finally made some new friends. A group of girls who gossip, take pictures, and laugh hysterically. For the first time in a LONG time, i feel like I belong.

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